The Comforts of Home

I booked my ticket to Barcelona. I’m moving to Spain and there’s no turning back now (not that there was really any turning back when I paid my school deposit- But that’s immaterial). Therefore, in about one week- I will say goodbye to my life as I know it and begin anew. 

Before I get totally weepy eyed about all that I am leaving behind, there are a few things that come to mind as I think about what I will be gaining. Beyond all the givens- like having experiences I will look back on for the rest of my life- there are some aspects of this move that are comforting to think about as I struggle to fit my life into a few suitcases.

First and foremost, I will have a home. It’s been a while. Come to think of it, I haven’t lived in one place for longer than a few months in over two years.

I’d like to consider myself easily adaptable and therefore, I believe I have made a life for myself in each city I have inhabited in the past but- still. I haven’t had a home.

There are the small things that we take advantage of when we do have mortgages or leases… I know I never appreciated them. Instead, I complained about how “stuck” I felt. It was as if my things were keeping me where I was- and not my desires. This time however, its different. This time- I’m moving somewhere, for a set period of time, on my terms.

I can’t wait to have a local bank account, a blender, my own sheets that I know I will be sleeping in a year from now. I can’t wait to have a hairdryer that won’t require a converter.

I will have a local grocery store, a coffee shop whose menu I will see enough times to memorize, take-out menus on my fridge- I’ll have a fridge!  

I’ll have shelves filled with my own books- the books that I’ve loved- the books I’ll have read over and over and the ones that will bring me back to a certain place at a certain time when I touch their spines.

I’ll have photos- in frames that aren’t swathed in bubble wrap- of people I know and adore. Ill have a mailing address that isn’t “Care Of” someone else.

I’ll have a “shoe guy” to fix my worn out soles and a regular hideaway to ease my soul.

I’ll be able to buy monthly metro cards instead of single rides and I’ll have stable Internet access- no more stealthily stealing neighbors’ connections or WiFi hunting.

I’ll have bills. Not that I’m sooo looking forward to bills- but at least they’ll be mine.

I’ll have a local doctor that will remember my name and a regular salon that will remember my hair.

When someone asks me directions, I’ll know what to tell them- instead of shrugging my shoulders and explaining that I’m a tourist too.

I’ll unpack my bags. Completely. For the first time in years. 

I’ll be a local. Eventually. Regardless of how long it takes to consider myself a local- I’ll know that it’s coming- and booking my flight there was only the beginning.