Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Day Three?

10:00 pm last night, leaving school with only about ¼ of my work done- and understanding about 10% of what I needed to understand, I mentioned to a friend of mine; “Day two and I'm already dying.” 
To which he replied, “'Day two?’ or ‘the second day of your MBA’?”

Now, theres a question. A big question. 
Do I count backwards or forwards? 
Do I tick off the minutes until I am done? 
Or do I live the minutes- really live them.

Will I know how many weeks I have left of the MBA when I am 6 months in- or will I look back incredulously at the fact that six months have passed?

“Day two” or “the second day.” This differentiation is going to define my time here in Spain. This MBA- this all-consuming, fatiguing experience is going to be one of two things…and its up to each of us, individually, to decide what that will be- a task or a pleasure. A chore, a job, a mission- or an occasion, an event, an opportunity. 
Day two, and yes- I’m surprised to find myself counting the days. It’s something I’ve never done. Day one, day two, day three….three days, two days, one until the weekend. Three weeks left until pre-term is over, four months until Christmas break, and so on…

I’m disappointed in myself for thinking this way. I don’t want to be the person that thinks that way- who lets the best of times pass her by, by focusing on exactly that- the passage of time.

I need to get a hold of myself- or maybe…just maybe I need a bit more than three hours of sleep- at which point “day three” will transform into “the third day,” and I wont need these rude reminders that I’m counting down instead of looking up.

No comments: